a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
