i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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