i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
