Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
