making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
