my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
