New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
