so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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