my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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