Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
