i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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