And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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