He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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