its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
