Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
