I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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