Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
