Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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