your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
