glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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