My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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