yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
