Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't turn off my feet"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
there is glitter all over my balls
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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