sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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