I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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