WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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