Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
