I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
