I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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