I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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