Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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