My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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