my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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