Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
