Pants 0. Shit 1.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
