Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
