i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
