Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You are the jesus of drinking
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
