So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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