If i come over, it means nothing
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
