Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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