He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
