We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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