Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
