The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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