"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
