so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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