i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
