i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
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Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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