you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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