Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
