I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He passed out mid-signature
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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