dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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