Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
