Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
