part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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