You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
