is your mom at the bar?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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