escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
