Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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